clarity and patience

Another slow day at work allows me some time to sit and reflect. So as I sip my Elida Estate , brewed in a French Press, I'll share a bit of what's been on my mind. [side note: NOVO received a Best Of award from Westword.]

I've wanted to write. I really have. But it seems that any time I would sit to write I would lose any clarity that I had. Clarity is one thing that I have been praying for lately. My mind races with words, images, and sounds for every topic I try to focus on: marriage, church, work, family, friends, missions, school. They all hold their own set of confusion. Clarity seems to be the thing to pray for in this situation, doesn't it? I want to be able to see clearly. I want to know what is in front of me. I want to know where GOD is working. I read a quote a few weeks ago that has challenged me in this thinking. I wish I could remember the author. I would love to give the credit. "Do not pray for clarity; pray for patience." I had to mull this over for many days before I started to understand. In my prayers for clarity, I was wanted knowledge and understanding. However in pray and seeking for patience I would have to force myself to a place of faith. Today my prayer has been for patience. I am confident that GOD is in control of all areas of my life. I believe that GOD is working in ways that I can't see and in ways that I'm not looking for. I think my desire for clarity took me to a place where I was wanting to control what was around. Patience, on the other hand, admits that it doesn't always have control. I was reading Paul's letter to the church in Colosse, and the first part of his letter was something that I spent some time reading and rereading.

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and Timothy our brother, To the holy and faithful brothers in Christ at Colosse: Grace and peace to you from God our Father. We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints-- the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel that has come to you. All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's grace in all its truth. You learned it from Epaphras, our dear fellow servant, who is a faithful minister of Christ on our behalf, and who also told us of your love in the Spirit. For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Paul's prayer for the church, at this time, was that they would have "great endurance and patience." I wonder if it was the prayers for endurance and patience that worked through this church to be known for it's faith? As I've thought more about praying for patience rather than clarity, I'm reminded that patience is a characteristic that shows the Spirit is active in my life. Paul puts it in a list that we call the "Fruits of the Spirit." The clarity I was praying for was primarily for my own benefit. It was for my peace of mind. (I think that this kind of clarity that I was praying for is different that praying for a prophetic kind of clarity. That's a whole 'nother topic) But having patience is something that could and should point to the Spirit's work in my life.

During the past two weeks I look at a countless number of job postings. What an awful thing for anyone to do. I looked at all types of jobs: clerical, labor, retail, restaurants, hospitality. One job stuck out more than the rest. It was a job working at a landscaping yard. I sent my resume to them and received a response that they had filled the position. I was so frustrated because that was the only job that I felt like I would enjoy doing. I prayed that GOD would grant me patience as I continued the search. Tuesday I received and email that let me know that they were looking to hire one more person at part time, and wanted to know if I was interested. Wednesday I went in for an interview. They offered me the job, and I took it. GOD has answered my prayers. Not only did I find a job, but I've gained an understanding and desire for more patience in my life.

One area of my life down, six to go.