Preaching Re-Imagined, pt 1.

Even before I opened the book, I knew that it was going to be different than most books I had read. I had read and loved another book by Doug, so I assumed that he would bring something fresh with this one too. And right off the bat, he does. The first "section" contains the usual introductions. The whats and whys and whos of the book. But the first thing that reminded me of the authorship of this book was that within the first section there is a "How to Read this Book" heading. Doug writes books differently. The first book I read of his was a book about his church, Solomon's Porch. The margins of the pages had journal entries from people within the church body. That was a weird, yet refreshing way to read a book about a church. This "How to..." section falls right in line. He explains that Section 2 has sentences and phrases which have numbers attached at the end. The numbers can take you to that particular chapter found within 4 different sections. He writes this to explain things:

For example, you might not be interested in the story of how I became a preacher but would prefer to go right to my suggestions of rethinking the role of the pastor. If so, you can skip point number five and go right to point 23.

I was really intrigued by this and found myself flipping through the book to figure out how this actually works. Doug explains that his reasons for this is because he wanted to write a book that felt more like a conversation rather that a "stagnate place of information" (my words). In this first section he shares a few phrases that seemingly elude to phrases that will become a foundation to the book: "progressional dialogue" (a phrase that he made up), and "speaching" (also made up, to refer to "the style of preaching that's hardly distinguishable from a one-way speech.")

I'm an underliner, a margin-writer, and a dog-earer, and Doug encourages this. He writes that the "book should not be left in its impersonal, published form. If it is, then it hasn't done its job of engaging you in the conversation." I like that. I can handle that.

Here's some things that I underlined and bracketed:

I find myself wanting to live life with the people of my community where I can preach-along with the other preachers of our community-but not allow that to become an act of speech making. Instead I want it to be a living interaction of the story of GOD and the story of our community being connected by our truth telling, our vulnerability, and our open minds, ears, and eyes-all brought together by the active work of the Spirit of GOD as we "Let the message of Christ dwell among (us) richly as (we) teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns and songs from the Spirit, singing to GOD with gratitude in (our) hearts." (Colossians 3:16)

These words remind me about the desire I have to be apart of a community that doesn't just rely on the history of faith to give us something to sing about, but creates expressions based out of our own personal history. I love the phrase "living interaction of the story of GOD and the story of our community... ." It reminds me that the purpose of the community is to find it's place within the redemptive story of GOD, and if the community isn't doing that, then it isn't doing what it is supposed to be doing. Here's one more quote:

The church is best understood not as the exclusive proprietor of all the things of GOD, but rather as the home base for those committed to living in rhythm with GOD. It is a means by which we extend GOD's hopes, dreams, and agenda in the world, not an end goal in itself. Nor is preaching an end in itself but one of the many ways we as Christians ought to seek to tend to the things of GOD.

These two paragraphs have given me much to think about within the past day and a half. Let me know your thought if you have any. I think I'm off to bed and on to Section 2.

book review.

Earlier this week I was waiting in anticipation of a little box from Amazon. I had ordered two books that had caught my attention. The first, The Forgotten Ways by Alan Hirsch, is a book that I am excited about reading. I haven't read any of Hirsch's books, but I continue to hear intriguing things about him and his vision of the church. The second book, Preaching Re-Imagined by Doug Pagitt, drew my attention because I've been thinking about the way that I preach/teach. I've read Pagitt before and love the way he talks about his church community.

I wanted to blog through one of these books. I don't have a format for it. I just want to put some thoughts down and try to generate some conversation with it. With in the last week I've seen three other people blogging about The Forgotten Ways, so that helped me decided to work through Pagitt's book first.



I'm looking forward to this. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.

blog posts I'd like to read right now:

• someone in the process of getting married. I want to hear about someone going through the motions of planning a wedding. I want to read about another couple who is really frustrated with not living in the same place.
  
• someone within the emerging church who is writing about the struggles of making the ideology of the movement into a physical expression. I want to read about a pastor/leader/teacher/community member who is writing honest about what isn't working for them as they try to live life in an emerging community.
• a group of people writing in a collaborative effort to talk about the "church" life. I want to read different perspectives on the same events.
  
• someone who is writing about struggling with feeling "wrong" because he isn't deconstructing things in the same way his friends are.

I started writing this list while really desiring to read something different. I've found myself reading the same perspectives for a while now. This mostly applies to the authors who I don't know; the people who I do know, generally entertain. After typing this list out I realized that I could be an author of all of those blogs. And I didn't realize it at the time, but I want to read these types of posts because I want to feel like I'm not alone. I want some form of encouragement. I want to read something that will speak to me and the place in life that I'm in now.

I think that one of the reasons that I haven't been writing a lot lately is because I have been in a stagnate place with the things I've been reading. I suppose that it isn't all that strange that the things I read spur me on to write.

So, here's to reading and writing that challenges and provokes.
I'll raise my glass to that.

I told him...

I had a very tough conversation with my boss at church on Wednesday. I told him that I've felt alone and abandoned by the church. I told him that it hurt to have meetings canceled over and over, and not being told that they were being canceled hurt even more. I told him that I've felt like Satellite has been put on the back burner but I keep hearing that it's important. I told him that it's hard for me to believe someone from council when they tell me that they are going to call to see how I'm doing. I told him that only one person on staff has asked me how I'm doing with what's going on. I told him that I didn't honestly didn't expect any "resolutions for continued support" for the Satellite congregation any time soon. I told things felt unfortunately familiar to a different situation at the church two years ago. I told him that I felt like a lame-duck. I told him I struggled to offer hope to the congregation because I was struggling with hope.

This was a really hard conversation to have. I respect my boss very much. I trust his wisdom and discernment. I believe that this is a very difficult decision for him, too. It was incredibly hard to say all of these things to someone I look up to. I didn't want to have this discussion, but I new I needed to. I knew I needed to tell him.

Dead to Fear, Alive at the Cross.

I'm a morning person. Being awake at 1am isn't fun for me. But I'm awake for a reason, so I thought I'd share it. Fear has been something that has gripped me lately. It has held me in bondage. It has kept me in a dangerous comfort. It gives me an excuse to refuse the call on my life. But I'm tired of living in fear. Fear has a way of bring up the past to disqualify the future. Tonight I've been on my knees pleading for forgiveness, boldness, peace, and faith to go, do, and say what I have been created for.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Galatians v,1

In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to GOD in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal bodies so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of you body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to GOD, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
Romans vi, 11-14


I wonder if I struggle with being freed from past sin is because I don't ask for it? Paul, in both passages, offers freedom as a choice. In the letter to the Galatians, he encourages them to "not [let yourselves] be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." It seems as if that gives them the option. They are burdened until they choose not to. And in his letter to the Romans he writes several "do not's" as if they have the choice to either do or do not do.

For in my inner being I delight in GOD's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to GOD-through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to GOD's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
Romans vii, 22-25

Paul continues with these powerful words: "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..." Through Jesus, GOD offers freedom that cannot be experienced outside of the understanding of the cross. For at the cross GOD offers redemption. Apart from the cross there is condemnation.

I think that lately I've been forgetting the cross. GOD forgive me. I choose to fight against my sin nature on my own. And because of that I've been beaten, bruised, and broken. When all I need to do is seek for redemption at the foot of the cross. I understand that this isn't a "all my problems disappear" card, rather this is a way for me to give up/die to myself and ask that GOD guide me, forgive me, comfort me, and carry me. This is the freedom that GOD desires of me. In this freedom I'll find rest tonight.

Freedom?

It's 12:40 and I can't fall asleep.
I tried to sleep.
It didn't work.
Prayer has been on my mind a lot lately.
For some reason I don't pray in the power that I say it holds.
I'll pray with other people for healing, comfort, peace, joy, faith, money, relationship.
And I believe every word I say, yet when I pray for myself I doubt.
Why?

How long will the past hold me bound
to mistakes I cant forget?
How long will I be
bound?

If Christ has set me free, why don't I live like I'm free?
How do I separate myself from the sin that so easily entangles?
How so I find forgiveness in repentance?
Where is there grace in abounding sin?

GOD, open my ears so that I can hear your voice.
GOD, open my eyes so that I can see your face.
GOD, soften my heart so that I can receive your comfort.

Fear of Failing Faith.

One of the TV shows I regularly watched, while I was growing up, was Family Matters. It was set in Chicago, which won points with me right away. If you've never seen the show you should be ashamed of yourself. I was reminded of this show earlier this week when I had a self-discovery-type moment. In the fifth season of the show there was an episode entitled "That's What Friends are For." I didn't remember all the details of the episode, so I did some research. Eddie gets into college with a scholarship that he applied for. His good friend Waldo was the only person who wasn't excited for him because Waldo feared that this would be the end of their relationship. Meanwhile, Carl is going through some inner turmoil over taking his Lieutenant exam. Steve Urkel tries to comfort Carl, but he isn't quite sure what's wrong with him. After a moment of trying to figure out what's wrong, Steve blurts our, "I know what it is. you've got FOF!" Carl, not knowing what Steve is talking about, asks what FOF is. Steve starts to talk about Fear of Failure. He explains that Carl is stressing over his exam because he is scared that he is going to fail it. Steve starts reassuring Carl that he'll do fine, and because it's a sitcom everything works out in the end.

A little less than a month ago, I found out that the church I work for is going to stop funding to Satellite in March. (Satellite is a college/young adult ministry that I'm the 'coordinator' for) Right now we are waiting to hear what the church's next move is. In all honesty, I'm not really expecting an answer anytime soon. I know that GOD has called me into ministry, and the work I was doing with Satellite felt natural to me. I don't what to see that vaporise because we cant meet at the church. I believe GOD has been speaking to me about planting a church or a house church. I'm certain that it's GOD's voice. But I'm scared to death that it's GOD's voice. I'm going through a period of FOF right now. The idea of starting a church is exciting, but I can't move past the voices of doubt, fear, and uncertainty. When I'm thinking clearly I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing. The problem is that it's easy for me to not think clearly. It's easy for me to think about the people who are apart of Satellite who might not even want to do this with me. It's easy to think about how extremely difficult it would be. It's easy to think that their could be years without "fruit" from the ministry.

Yesterday, Lauren was my Urkel. That's a scary thought. Let me explain before anyone has any ridiculous images in thier head. Lauren is an incredible encouragement to me. She reminds me about who I am and who I'm created to be. She tells me things that I don't want to believe are really true. She supports me and reminds me that the ring on her finger means a life time of support. Then she tripped over an extension chord, causing a lamp to crash to the ground. The light bulb burst and caught a blanket on fire. As she waived her hand to calm the flames she cried out, "Did I do that?" (Well, maybe not)

But I digress.
The idea of planting a church or hosting a home church is something that I've never done. It's difficult to even think about what it would be like. I'm afraid that my faith wont be strong enough to endure through the difficult times. Maybe I'm not going through Fear of Failure, but Fear of Failing Faith. I forget that the GOD who is calling me into this difficult situation is the same GOD who prepared the way for me to be in this situation. This is the same GOD who made the way possible for my move to Colorado two and a half years ago. This is the same GOD who has gently nudged and and times pushed me towards his will. I need to daily remind myself of GOD's faithfulness in my life. This is why the Jewish nation celebrates so many holidays. They are days to remember. I don't think that reminding me of GOD's faithfulness will automatically make things easier, but I believe it should help.

So my reminder for today: January 8th, 2006 we had a "Vision Planning Meeting." I remember sitting in Donnie's living room dreaming with a group of people that believed we were going to make a difference. We dreamed about serving the area around us through clothing drives, "sock offerings," VBS with an intercity church, working with Habitat 4 Humanity, and serving Hope House. These desires led us to doing most of these things. 7 months in a row we took food and clothes downtown to feed and cloth the homeless. A small group of people went to do work for Habitat. We helped restore a fence at Hope House. We sang Christmas Carols at Covenant Village. The desire to serve has stuck with us this past year. To GOD be the glory.

Here is a trustworthy saying:
If we died with him,
we will also live with him;
If we endure,
we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
he will also disown us;
If we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.

2 Timothy ii,11-13

These words bring strength to a failing faith.

Carpe Diem

I'll admit it. I set New Year's Resolutions. I'm OK with doing it. I try to set three or four each year, but this year I feel as though I've gone a bit overboard:

• Wake up at 6:30 at least four mornings a week.
• Work out at least twice a week (in various forms: gym, snowboarding, indoor soccer).
• Use liturgy as a method of prayer.
• Read through the Bible.
• Journal more (this may or may not include blogging).
• Start writing a book.

Many of these are tied closely together. If I wake up at a consistent time each day I will be more likely to work out. If I'm up earlier each day I will have more time to write. I think that as I read through the Bible I will desire to pray more. Or maybe it's the other way around. Starting to write a book is the one resolution that scares me. It scares me because I don't know how to write a book. It scares me because my grammar is sub par. But most of all, it scares me because I'm not really sure what I'm going to write about. I have an idea, though. I'd like to write about the Church, but I don't know what about. I think that it might be a type of autobiography. I believe that GOD has called me into ministry. I am certain of this. I believe, though, that the call on my life isn't to a particular age-group or demographic or country or religion, even, but to show a redemptive image of the Church to people who need redemption. This, I believe, is the call on my life. And this is what I think I might end up writing about.

Encourage me, if you will. I'll need it.